Tuesday, September 25, 2007

An American Werewolf in Harrisburg

Took Fenris for a walk tonight, and as we came around that short dark crosstreet by the woods I noticed a black car parked there.

Since there are no houses on that little street and no light down there, that was certainly an unusual thing.

Normally I give solitary cars on solitary lightless roads a wide berth but I didn't walk all that far away from this one (which is really stupid and you must never do this).

Fenris turned to look at it and I idly wondered if perhaps there were a couple of lovers inside. Although the car was black the interior was light-colored and there didn't seem to be anyone visible. Of course I have the visual acuity of a rhinoceros (as well as the general body shape, but that's another matter). Anyway, looked empty to me but as I was passing the car Fenris quickly went over to it, reared up and bopped the driver's window hard with both front feet in that motion used by polar bears to break through the ice. Since the car was rather small and Fenris is rather tall that's a good analogy. I immediately pulled him back and kept walking; I didn't say a word and had I quicker reflexes he never would've reached the car.

That ignition fired up so fast and that little black car took off. I think it took the corner on two wheels. I hummed Bad Moon Rising all the way home.

Monday, September 24, 2007

The more things change...

Knowing it's Oktoberfest (Wiesn) time, I decided to look it up online and found this. Aside from Dachau, this is the most German thing I've ever seen:


"Can you see those sweet girls on your screen? Maybe you can win their hearts, but at first you have to shoot them."

I hate dating.

Footnote: Shooting girls is "our most popular Wiesn game!"

Apparently it beats out Zitzenzauber. Which is only to be expected, as we are a more urban society nowadays.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Chakra is a c-word

So myque and I go to the metaphysical expo at the Allentown Fairgrounds.

Great fun was had by the two of us.

Myque wants me to get my aura photographed. I tell her I have no desire for her to see my weary old aura displayed by Kirlian photography. People like her can see it anyway, so what's the point?

Nope. Must do so I can see my aura and my chakras. Ok, as long as it doesn't involve trying to see my genitals with a handmirror I'm in.

So we go to this place run by these two guys from Niagara Falls (I theorize it's by way of Brooklyn and Odessa). We're laughing and talking and having a great time.

Myque blows out their camera.


Sigh. I knew it.

Tall guy finally gets his camera working while I test my hypothesis with his co-worker by pushing out the conversational pawn of "pierogies." Ha! Successful opening move. He lit up when I told him they sold pierogies at this venue (true) and he asked all the appropriate pierogi cognoscenti questions as to fillings, fried-or-boiled, and of course, is there sour cream available?

So myque's been photographed and now it's my turn.

There's a brief wait while the photos are being developed and our chakra analyses are chugging out of the printer. Myque says she had hers done last year and has been working on improving certain areas. Tall guy says his hasn't changed in years, he is what he is, and is impressed that someone would have the focus to make specific improvements.

I look at myque's write-up when it comes out and it describes her to a "T." If you had 50 of these printouts you'd pick that one out as hers without hesitation. Her aura photograph is probably going to be used in an illustrated Bardo Thodol as level seven.

Me? Mine is a chakra disaster of Dostoevskian proportions. My life energy chakra is so minute as to be almost invisible. The next two are not even the right color. Instead of being round globes of color, they are misshapen and broken, full of holes, except for the heart chakra which is far too large and full. Myque looks at it and doesn't say a word, but I know her and the "I knew it but it's worse than I thought" flash I got was telling enough. I give it to pierogie man and ask him to tell me what it means. He looks at the photo, pauses....and says, look, I don't know you, so [various ethnic shoulder shrugs and hand gestures that I understand to mean ok, lady, don't blame me] I will just tell you what I see. You have no energy. You are physically and psychically depleted almost completely. This is not good. I don't know you, and I don't know what you do for a living, but you hate it and are unhappy. Your heart is enormous and you are full of love and giving. You have dreams and plans but you have no faith at all in yourself at this time.


Did you know you can google "chakra repair" and get 576,000 hits?